Enlightenment
by ClaraDraconis
Summary: For Sasuke, clarity comes after the final battle. Sometimes reflecting on the pain you've caused is the only way to realise what you've been missing all along.


**Author's Note:**

**DISCLAIMER: **This story has only been uploaded to AO3 and FFnet, and there's also a fragment in my Tumblr account. In all those cases, it's been published under the username ClaraDraconis. It should only be available there and in the FFnet app (AO3 doesn't have an app). I don't allow reposts or translations of my work. If you find this story anywhere else, please let me know.

**RANDOM STUFF ABOUT THE STORY: **There are two particular songs that I kept listening to while writing this one-shot. One of them is Sharp Edges, by Linkin Park (in fact I've adapted a couple lines of the lyrics into the story). The other is Sunrise, by Coldplay. They are probably a good "soundtrack" for this one-shot.

* * *

The blood is gushing out of his wound, out of his body. The place where his left arm should be is oddly numb as life escapes him. He feels the dizziness that comes with severe blood loss, and a sudden temptation to just fall asleep overtakes him. It would be easy to succumb to that desire: the combination of exhaustion, chakra depletion and a collection of wounds that might potentially be deadly is enough to make him want to close his eyes and let himself go. But he promised Naruto just moments ago that he would help him create a world where shinobi truly cooperate, he has promised to witness the potential that shinobis have to do better.

The dark haze that clouded his mind before has disappeared after their battle, letting clarity take back control of his thoughts. Sasuke knows he can't die now, as much as he was ready to do so before their conversation. So he stays awake, fighting against the deadly promise that sleep offers, and he contemplates their options. There's not much they can do. Neither of them can move a muscle, none of them have enough chakra to call their summons, there's no way they can take themselves to safety. Their only option is to wait for help, hope that someone is awake against all odds and is able to heal them, or at least stop the bleeding.

He hopes that whoever finds them is kind enough not to leave him there. He hopes it's not someone he has personally hurt. As selfish as he feels at that moment, he wants to live. And he knows that not many people want him alive, so he keeps hoping for the right person to find them. He's never been good at hoping, and yet, it's the only thing he can do right now. That and waiting. He's never been good at waiting either.

* * *

He doesn't know how long it's been when suddenly, a flash of pink appears in front of him. His tired eyes roam over her figure, taking in the torn clothes, the dry blood and the bruises that cover her face. In a fraction of a second, her expression shifts from shock to distress, her eyes threatening tears. In that same fraction of a second, Sasuke thinks that the universe has a fucked up sense of humour.

Sakura is definitely the right person to save their lives. She's also the person he's hurt the most. She has every right to want him dead, every right to despise him. And he can't help but feel a surge of guilt when he looks at her eyes and sees she's not looking back at him.

_Please, look at me._

He can't ask anything of her, even when his life is at stake. Not medical help. Not forgiveness. He has taken enough from her. He almost took too much, he almost took her life. Memories of what he's done to her flood his senses, the realization of the suffering he's caused her sets in. It feels different to anything he has experienced before. He's the only one to blame for her pain, he's aware of that. And he could have avoided all of it, if only he hadn't turned the love he felt for his family into all-consuming rage.

He knew better than to act irrationally, he knew better than to speak harshly. The face of his mother appears in his mind without warning, telling him with voice full of concern to be more considerate with other people's feelings. What made her say that, he doesn't know. He regrets not having taken her advice to heart.

Sasuke has walked the world harming those who dared to get close to him, every step he took wounded them deeper than any jutsu ever could. And Sakura was always the bravest one, reaching to him even when others cowered in fear with his mere presence. When others thought he was too far gone, she offered her heart to him, like she had done so many times before. And like so many times before, he dismissed her love, not grasping how deeply he was wounding both of them in the process.

Sakura was soft but constant light, the only person who ever managed to scatter some of the darkness that was taking over him. For years, she had tried to help him heal the wounds of his soul with compassion and tenderness. But he was sharp edges through and through, his own actions cutting him and everyone he cared for deeper than the blade of their enemies. No, he can't expect her to help. He can't even expect her to care.

But she's never done what he expected her to do, she's always been better than the world gave her credit for. To his surprise, Sakura moves closer to them, kneeling on a pool of their blood; and without any trace of doubt, she places her hands above their missing limbs, immediately starting to heal them. He feels the warmth of her green chakra mending his torn arm with precision, feels the way the dizziness leaves him as she continues working without saying a single word.

How many lives has she saved in a matter of hours? Hundreds, thousands perhaps? She kept the shinobi army fighting way longer than they could have without her, she helped him escape from a different dimension, she fought a goddess with her bare hands. And somehow, she still has chakra to spare, to give her teammates another chance to live.

Sasuke knows of her outstanding abilities, but her selflessness catches him by surprise. Despite all he's done to her, she still finds enough kindness in herself to help him. She was always kind to him, always made him feel like he belonged somewhere. At some point during the years he almost forgot that. Sakura cared even in his darkest moments. But now her bright green eyes refuse to look back at him.

_I know what I did to you. But I'm selfish. I still want you to look at me. Please, Sakura, just look at me._

Yes, he is selfish. He wants her forgiveness more than anyone else's. Her face is stoic, focused on her delicate task, and he can't figure out if there are any repressed feelings behind that expression. He could have dealt with sorrow, anger and even hatred. But indifference from her isn't something he was prepared for. It hurts more than all the wounds on his body.

His thoughtlessness has consequences, he knows that now. He hadn't listened to his mother's words, and so, he has ended up learning a difficult lesson for himself. And now, he wishes he had paid attention. Because he has no idea of how to fix the mess he has created. But at least he should try to tell her. He needs her to know that he cares too. That he regrets the pain he had caused her.

"Thanks, Sakura-chan!"

Naruto sounds cheerful despite the circumstances. He makes it sound as if Sakura was healing a mere scratch instead of a potentially lethal wound. As if they hadn't almost killed each other. And Sakura doesn't reply. She hasn't spoken a word since she arrived. Maybe he should take the chance. Maybe she will listen.

"Sakura, I…"

Her reaction is instantaneous.

"Just shut up for now. I need to focus."

That was an emotion he could recognise. Behind her façade of apathy, she feels anger. He can endure her anger, it is well deserved. For a millisecond, Sasuke considers staying silent. But he fears not having another chance like this, another moment in which she would have no other option but to listen. Yes, he is cornering her. Perhaps this time, she will call him annoying, bite back with his own words, words that he only used whenever she got too close to breaking the barriers he had built around his heart. It would be ironic. It would still be better than losing her altogether. So he tries once again.

"I'm sorry"

.

.

.

"Sorry? For what?"

The false calm in her voice feels like the quietude that precedes a storm. Sakura is containing her emotions as best as she can, still refusing to look at him, stubbornly focused on the wounds she's healing. But her questions let him see beyond the anger. As hurt as she may be, she is giving him a chance. A chance to explain himself, to admit he was wrong, to acknowledge the pain he's caused. At that very moment, Sasuke feels a rush of gratitude and love for the young woman. Because in spite of everything, she still cares. She hasn't given up on him. He doesn't think he is worthy of her kindness, but he won't ever reject it again.

"For everything up till now"

Her expression shifts. All traces of indifference are gone, and he watches her furrow her eyebrows as she tries and fails to contain the tears. She doesn't make a sound for the first few minutes, and he gives her time. Sakura cries in silence, eyes closed and lips tightly pressed together, and Sasuke wishes he could take all the pain away, even if it meant suffering it himself. But he knows of her strength, he understands now how much she has endured for him. And she has done so willingly. He knows her well enough to understand that she wants to deal with her feelings in her own terms.

And as she pulls through the overwhelming emotions, she speaks again.

"You better be sorry…Shannaro...You idiot."

As Sasuke looks at her, at the tears streaming down her face, his own feelings about her no longer buried, his heart aches. Because he understands she isn't just crying for him. She is also crying for the toll these war has taken on all of them. For the reasons behind it, and the consequences it will have. They have all become victims in one way or another, and if he had done things differently, he could have spared her from some of that pain. Sasuke promises himself right then and there that he'll make things better for everyone, so she doesn't have to suffer like that ever again.

An hour passes as Sakura finishes healing the gravest injuries of both Sasuke and Naruto. Kakashi reaches them at some point during the process, exhausted and wounded but with an obvious smile under his mask. Team 7 reunites peacefully for the first time in years, resting on top of the remains of two colossus of the past.

As they all sit together, Sasuke observes them. Kakashi, the man who acted with him like a surrogate father, looks more at peace than ever before. Naruto, a friend turned brother, jokes about something Sasuke doesn't quite understand, as if they weren't lying in the middle of a battlefield surrounded by rubble. And as Sakura wipes the last tears from her face, Sasuke allows himself to fully accept for the first time what she's always offered him.

Even if he always knew what was lying below the surface, it's still unexpected. Sasuke feels a sudden clarity about his own feelings for Sakura. Her forgiveness is a soothing balm, her love a gentle embrace and soft words reminding him that he is wanted and needed. And he has missed every second of it.

And he smiles, because he can't keep her out of his heart anymore. Even if it takes him years to atone for all his sins, even if the circumstances don't allow him to be by her side, he promises himself to never push her away again.

* * *

**Notes: **It took me a life time to finish this, despite how short it is. Between how chaotic my life is and how slow I am at writing, I guess it was to be expected. I sort of wanted it to be longer, but I know that everything I wanted to say about this scene is already there. I really hope you enjoy it.

On that note, this is basically my interpretation of Sasuke's mindset after the final battle with Naruto. Suffice to say, I don't think he's selfish or undeserving of forgiveness. But he may have felt that way. I believe he was seeing things clearly for the first time in years, and he was very much aware of the mistakes he had made. And his apology to Sakura was so quick that it feels almost desperate. It's obvious that he didn't want to lose her.

Thanks to June for inspiring me to write again and encouraging me along the way, and to Aliss, who pushed me to finish this and basically bribed me with her art. I hope both of you know how incredible you are. And to a certain boy who always believes in me, even when I'm doubting myself.

Also, there's a big SasuSaku community on Twitter, and we are always very active and happy to welcome new people. You can find me there as ClaraDraconis too.

And please, read the disclaimer in the notes at the beginning. There's been a lot of content thieves lately, and fics have been stolen even by apps.


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